On Grace

I'm feeling a bit sentimental this week and a little weepy (it's almost "that time"). So I will forgo any of my own thoughts and share a poem I read recently...and this is to you mom:

On Grace
Some people tell me I was free,
When I believed in Christ;
And by my power got victory,
When all the world enticed.
I think they did not know my heart,
Nor theirs. Let it be said,
That I for one had sought no part
In rising from the dead.
They wonder at the sovereign rights
That I allow my King,
And puzzle at the worship heights
To which his rule gives wing.
But I will rest in God's grace today
On this (I need no other);
He did not give me any say,
But chose for me my mother.

John Piper, in A Godward Life, part 2

Confessions of a Design Star junkie

hello friends. I have no deep thoughts today. I just wanted you to all know that I am a Design Star junkie. What does this mean? It means that I LOVE hgtv and especially Design Star. We don't have cable, but we can watch the episodes on our computer now. Actually, Mike and I both like watching. We discovered our similar interest in design one vacation some years ago. Now, when we do go on a vacation (or at home, on the week-ends) when Abigail is taking a nap, we watch! Sometimes I get a little sick of it, but usually I just can't wait to see more and learn more. The only problem is when I start pretending that I am a design star! Like today, I just decided to "clean out" Abigail's room. But it turned into an almost all day project of re-arranging furniture, toys, and we even painted! At least, she did get to help with some of it, so I didn't feel too guilty, like I ignored her all day.

Anyways, just thought you would like to know. And if you've never seen design star, or if you have, right now you can vote for Season 3's winner!

Big Girl Bed

On Monday night, we took a side off Abigail's crib and made a "big girl bed". Part of me is so proud of her for staying in and not falling out (I put the extra pillows on the floor, just in case) And part of me is sad...that she is not a little baby anymore. I am SO sentimental. I still remember her that night she came home from the hospital, all bundled up like a little doll (well, I guess it really wasn't that long ago). So, I am trying to enjoy the little moments with her NOW, cuz I know that the day she leave for college or gets married, I will look back at this picture and cry my eyes out.

Summer Fun

Many of you have asked me, what do you do in Massachusetts? Well, after seeing my cousin Marlo's blog, it gave me an idea to do a "week" in the life of the Cheng's. But then, we have been doing so much this summer, I will just highlight some of the fun things. Hopefully, for those who live far away it will help "see" our lives here :)

Many things start with waiting for the bus. During the week, Mike takes the car to work. So Abigail and I have been quite adept at taking public transportation. (this will be a theme for another blog)















We go downtown often. Here we are watching a singer for the Boston's Children's Day right before 4th of July















Sometimes we drop Mike off at work and take the car all day.
Here we are at a nice Beach with our friend's the Minchs.












We had a carnival last week-end with our church. Abigail's 1st bounce house experience!











Many days, we just stay close to home and enjoy the simple delights of summer. Like blowing bubbles in our backyard, watering flowers, going to the park down the street or story hour at the library, and recently we discovered the community pool is very nice on a hot day.



















That's all for now! Gotta get ready for our next adventure!

Memories of ME

Memories of ME

My cousin Joanna put this on her blog and I thought it would be fun.
1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!
2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you. If you don't want to play on your blog, or if you don't have a blog, I'll leave my memory of you in my comments.
EVERYBODY PLAY! I want to see what memories you have!!

Health Insurance, pt.3

*** We have health insurance ***

Woo-hoo. I won't go into all the gory details, but it seems that we were able to qualify for a different insurance program that was still through the state, but we pay a small (very small compared to the private insurance) premium. When I talked with the lady yesterday, and she told me that we could qualify, I almost started crying! I wanted to give her a big hug and some flowers. Wow, I'm just glad that is over. But what I am really sad about is that as soon as I found out, I could feel a huge burden lifting. As if an elephant was riding on my shoulders and then poof..it was gone! Just like that! What makes me sad, is that as soon as my circumstances changed, my anxiety left. I wish that I could be like Habakkuk when he comes to terms with the fact that his people were going to be taken away into exile. He said:

"Though the fig tree should not blossom, And there be no fruit on the vines, though the yield of the olive should fail, and the fields produce no food, though the flock should be cut off from the fold, and there be no cattle in the stalls, Yet I will rejoice in the God of my salvation." Habakkuk 3:17-18

I would love to one day be able to rejoice even when the circumstance are bad or never change. Maybe when I get to heaven :) But for now, I will rest in Christ and enjoy my light shoulders.

Good to be afflicted?

"It is good for me that I was afflicted, That I may learn Thy statutes" Psalm 119:71

Although this is a hard verse to apply, I think it is one of my favorites! Now don't worry, I haven't been afflicted with some horrible disease. My "afflictions" usually revolve around worrying about money or my husband's job search or currently our health insurance issues. All these little (well, to me they don't seem little) afflictions really show me my heart. Mainly how sinful I am! How easy I get worried and anxious and lose all my joy.

But it is in the times of affliction that I can cry out to God and really apply the statues or Scriptures to my life. Verses become so much more alive. I cry when I read things like "be anxious for nothing" or "don't worry it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom". And then over time a peace comes. Or something changes and it's like God saying "See, I was always there...why are you so quick to forget?".

And after each trial is "over" I seem to have a deeper understanding of God which helps me in the next one. Even though I don't like affliction and seem to like worrying, it really is good for me to be afflicted, so that I can be sanctified and He can be glorified.

Health Insurance & Trusting God, pt.2

You might be wondering how these pictures fit in with the title of my blog today. Let me try to explain...

I was watching Abigail play today... and she doesn't have a care in the world! (well, maybe she cares about drinking her 'milkies' and having 'white bear' in bed with her). But overall, she is clueless about the problems in this world. All she knows is that when she asks (politely) for food or drink or a toy, her parents provide. These pictures, I think, capture the delights of youth. Having a ball with spring flowers in our front yard. (these were taken at the end of May)

How I wish I could be like her! Now that I am older, I get so bogged down with the 'cares of this world'. Currently, we now need to decide which health plan to pick. We tried appealing our case, as instructed by the customer service rep, only to have it denied. The issue is that the insurance through Mike's work doesn't meet the standards that MA has declared, but we make too much to get the insurance through MA. So we may have to pick a private insurance or go with ours anyways and get more insurance later. So confusing.

But I do need to say that Mike has been wonderful in leading with this whole issue. He took over the responsibility to call and figure out all the options. Now it is back on my plate to go over the options and "pick" the best one. Yikes! I really need God's grace today.

So I will leave you with the smiling, happy, carefree pictures of Abigail and the lyrics to my favorite song from the new CD "Come Weary Saints" by Sovereign Grace Music:

Every Day

In your grace you know where I walk
You know when I fall
You know all my ways
In your love I know You allow
What I cannot grasp
To bring you praise

Chorus:
Thank you for the trials
For the fire, for the pain
Thank you for the strength
Knowing you have ordained
Every day

Your great power is shown when I'm weak
You help me to see
Your love in this place
Perfect peace is filling my mind
And drawing my heart
To praise you again

In my uncertainty, Your Word is all I need
To know You're with me every day

Ten Thousand Faults

" He who grows in grace remembers that he is but dust, and he therefore does not expect his fellow Christians to be anything more. He overlooks ten thousand of their faults, because he knows his God overlooks twenty thousand in his own case. He does not expect perfection in the creature, and, therefore, he is not disappointed when he does not find it" Charles Spurgeon

I read this quote in Ch. 2 of Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney. The Chapter is about the delight of loving my husband. For some reason this quote really stood out to me, because I think I am a perfectionist. So I can be really hard on myself and consequently really hard and critical of Mike (and others). Thus, I desire to preach the gospel to myself, so that instead of seeing other people's faults (which I seem to see quite clearly), I can remember mine and rejoice in the grace of the gospel!

This pic. was taken at the wedding in California that Mike played in. My 2 cuties :)

Just for Fun

I've been wanting to share this one for awhile.
I took it about 6 months ago. Abigail was 2yr. 3 mo.
Hope you enjoy! And Happy 4th of July!!

Health Insurance & Trusting God

Well, I think all those quotes I just posted were to serve myself for this week and the weeks ahead. I am struggling with some pretty big anxiety. Yesterday our health insurance ran out. We don't qualify for the state programs anymore. But the insurance through the temp. agency that Mike is working with doesn't meet the "state's requirements". I was told that a letter would be mailed today and we have to wait until they investigate our insurance options.

And although today I woke up completely healthy, I feel like a safety net has been ripped away. My crazy thoughts go like this: What if Mike gets into a big car accident on the way home today? We have no insurance. We won't be able to pay for it. We'll lose all our savings and become bankrupt! And on and on. Can you relate?

On Mother's Day our pastor preached on Psalms 27. David is afraid of men who are out to kill him (at least I don't have that issue) and he finds his comfort in God... "One thing I have asked from the LORD, that I shall seek: That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD" (vs.4). Two of the main points really hit home:

1. Is communing with God your #1 priority? Or is it just asking Him to come down and fix your mess so you can be at ease?

2. When uncertainty comes, it reveals to us what our functional God is. We can say all the Bible verses we want and can say that we trust in God.. but do we really when something happens? Or do we look to other things for comfort... food, TV, spouse, etc?

So as I wait for this letter and this investigation, I will fight my sinful desires (by the grace of God) to worry and be anxious and run to the cross for hope. And meditate on the last verses of Psalm 27:

" I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the Lord".